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Burlesque "mayor" Jonny Porkpie wears another hat Posted in Upstaged by Helen Shaw on January 15th, 2010 ay 5:44 pm You may already know behatted, be-bearded neoburlesque presenter Jonny Porkpie, the writer-performer particularly popular for his themed Pinchbottom Burlesque shows, which he hosts with his wife Nasty Canasta. In fact, you may have even voted for him in the mayoral election. But you may not have realized that Porkpie is now a published author. His recent offering The Corpse Wore Pasties dares to tell the story of a chap named Jonny Porkpie (so Paul Auster-ish!) who finds himself on the hook for an ecdysiast's murder. Here's a little taste to get your tassels in a twirl: "The corporate world was just as I remembered it, a symphony of shared desks, dead faces, tired hands tapping away at keyboards, an occasional surreptitious glance out the window, at the clock, or at that other employee you fantasize is someday going to invite you for an erotic tête-à-tête in the supply closet. It filled me with a dread I had not had the displeasure of experiencing since those first few months out of college, when I returned to New York and tried to settle back into the city of my birth in a profession that didn't involve taking off my clothes. It was a mistake. I'd made my first entrance in this city naked and kicking, and that was clearly the way this city wanted me to stay..." If you feel you'd enjoy Jonny's work a bit better while it's being read by a topless woman, be sure to hit Madame X on January 29 to see the Naked Girls Reading series slip between its pages.

Written by the master of ceremonies of the famous Pinchbottom burlesque troupe - and the unofficially titled Burlesque Mayor of New York City - Porkpie has crafted a twisted, sexy and hilarious tale of murder and mystery. Written in first-person, Porkpie, as a slightly-fictionalized version of himself, is on the case after the show stopper is stopped dead after the show when a prop bottle of poison is replaced by the real deal. Modern with the nourish flare, Corpse strikes the perfect tone for a pulp novel and Porkpie fits in nicely with his Hard Case Crime brethren. --Aaron Sagers Link

I love Hard Case Crime. This is a publisher who's committed-heart and soul-to reviving long-lost pulp and crime titles, but at the same time, the brains at Hard Case don't vegetate in the past; many of their titles are new, and this brings me to The Corpse Wore Pasties by Jonny Porkpie. Just in case you don't know, the type of pasties we are talking about are those tiny adhesive nipple patches worn by strippers and burlesque dancers (my favourite pasties are sequins with tassels, but I digress). Now there's a world of difference between strippers and burlesque dancers-just ask the book's author, Jonny Porkpie, "The Burlesque Mayor of New York." Stripping...that's about heavy breathing and dollar bills. Burlesque, well that's a time tested art form.

Porkpie (who takes his last name from the type of hat he wears) must be a very busy man. In his real life (in other words-anything not inside the pages of his first novel), Porkpie also co-produces Pinchbottom Burlesque with his Missus.- Nasty Canasta. I'd hazard a guess that Porkpie is a really interesting character as he unabashedly places himself in his novel with a generous dollop of self-deprecating humour. To take the piss out of oneself takes a strong, confident personality, and Porkpie does just that, and he does it well with The Corpse Wore Pasties-a light-hearted, entertaining, slick, crime-centred romp through the glamorous world of burlesque.

The novel opens in an East Village bar with a Dreamland burlesque show, and Porkpie is the host for the evening's performances, replacing Dreamland's regular producer and host, LuLu LaRue. This should be an easy gig for Porkpie, but things begin to go wrong when Victoria Vice unexpectedly appears to join the line-up of performers. Victoria is the "rare performer that absolutely nobody liked," not only is she a first-rate bitch, but she's a "thief" and a "plagiarist." And in burlesque, this is "the worst kind of thief you can be." Many other burlesque performers have suffered from Victoria's "creative larceny;" she's notorious for visiting shows and ripping off acts. So when Victoria appears to join the evening's line up, the atomsphere in the ad-hoc chaotic, changing room shifts to rage. And before the evening is over, someone ends up dead.

Although there are no lack of suspects, Porkpie manages to top the list, and after a brush with the cops, he decides that as number 1 suspect, he'd better try solving the crime himself. Against the sage advice of his ever-patient wife, Nasty Canasta, Porkpie plunges into the investigation in true noir style. Soon Porkpie is questioning burlesque characters such as: Brioche a Tete, Cherries Jubilee, Eva Desire, Angelina Blood, and Jillian Knockers. Can it be any wonder that he finds himself "running at top speed across the Brooklyn Bridge, half-naked, in the middle of the night, pursued by all five members of a heavy metal band."?

I have a weakness for Hard Case titles that blend crime with a large dose of humour (Somebody Owes Me Money, Fifty-to-One), so for my twisted tastes, The Corpse Wore Pasties was a delightful, funny read. I began the book knowing next to nothing about burlesque, and I learned a few things about the biz-including the meaning of the term "sexual misdirection." This diverting pulp novel, with its lurid elements added to just a hint of camp, is a great deal of tongue-in-cheek fun (my favourite part is when Porkpie is questioned by the cops). I looked forward to this title for months, and it was exactly what I hoped it would be-an entertaining, behind-the-scenes look at the world of burlesque.

I sincerely hope that this won't be a one-shot wonder, and that Porkpie has more novels up his sleeves or perhaps even in his Super Jonny Porkpie outfit....

SOME authors are well equipped to promote themselves. To launch "The Corpse Wore Pasties," Jonny Porkpie, whose day job is emceeing burlesque shows, uses his favorite strippers -- the spectacular Clams Casino, Dirty Martini and Jo Boobs -- plus his cover models, Nasty Canasta and GiGi La Femme. They'll perform Nov. 21 and Nov. 28 at the Bleecker Street Theatre...

Not your grandpappy's crime novel, though you can bet he wishes he had something so titillating and funny to hide in the basement. Written by the self-appointed "Burlesque Mayor of New York City," Porkpie comes off so appealing and hilarious that the reader wants to quit their day job and start a career as one of his steamer trunk members. (I assume he has a steamer trunk instead of a cabinet...) Full of colorful and naughty characters, many so good that they have to be true. The official Go-To book for underwear metaphors! This is crime for the Rockabilly Geekcore set, for anyone with tats, piercings, comic books and an Apple computer. For anyone that ever put on a trenchcoat and had to decide between Marlowe and Gibson when it comes time to accessorize. Highly Recommended! 5/5

"Michael Bloomberg and Bill Thompson aren't the only two politicians running for mayor. Seven additional candidates - representing such groups as the Rent is Too Damn High Party and the Green Party - are on the ballot. Others, like Jonny Porkpie, the self-proclaimed burlesque mayor of New York, are campaigning for write-in votes. Some are dead serious, while others are playing the race for laughs." Watch Video

Porkpie (not his real name?) is by trade an emcee/comic for neo-burlesque shows in NYC, a job where you immediately either stink or swim. Fortunately, the rapport required on stage transfers effortlessly to the page in this debut mystery. At the start our hero, also named Jonny, is seen onstage by an audience guilelessly administering real poison, in a bottle labeled "Poison," to one of the burlesque artistes who straight away flops over onto her pasties. It seems the victim was hated by the other performers on the bill, so Jonny has his work cut out proving his innocence and finding the real murderer while at the same time eluding the cops. Along the way he's subjected to rigorous slapstick workouts in a dominatrix's salon and finds himself, half-naked, dangling from the Brooklyn Bridge. Still he manages to hang onto his trademark porkpie hat--and dignity. Verdict Don't give up your night job, Jonny; it's too good of a backdrop for the sequels that will surely come to nestle comfortably between Gypsy Rose Lee's classic 1941 The G-string Murders and Kinky Friedman's mysteries.--Bob Lunn, Kansas City, MO

The self-styled burlesque mayor of New York City makes himself the hero of his entertaining hard-boiled debut. Suspected of murder after a striptease artist dies dramatically onstage, performer and emcee Porkpie--named for his trademark hat--sets out one kick-step ahead of the cops to find the real killer. It doesn't help that victim Victoria Vice was generally loathed for plagiarizing the distinctive acts of fellow ecdysiasts Cherries Jubilee, Jillian Knockers and Eva Desire. Much of the fun lies in Porkpie's witty and telling observations of life in the raunchy burlesque world, and the tone is more playful than pornographic despite plentiful references to sexual activity. Readers will enjoy the twists and action and hope for future Porkpie investigations. The book will be launched with a live burlesque show in New York City. (Dec.)

Author Porkpie, the self-proclaimed "Burlesque Mayor of New York City," makes himself the star of this winsome first novel. Porkpie is NYPD's prime suspect in the murder of Victoria Vice, a burlesque dancer known for "plagiarizing" other dancers' acts. Jonny assumes that one of the other dancers on the program is the murderer, and he decides he must uncover the truth to avoid 25 years in prison. In the course of his investigation, he is chased, half-naked, across the Brooklyn Bridge by a heavy-metal band and finds himself hanging from chains, completely naked, in the dungeon of a dominatrix. He also offers knowing insights into the craft of burlesque, for example, to properly apply pasties, heat the adhesive--it makes them stick better. Porkpie's style is diligently tongue in cheek, and it works. Fans of hard-boiled crime will enjoy this romp, and in an increasingly coarse popular culture, the inside look at burlesque seems, well, almost wholesome.

Jonny Porkpie - I will now go all New York Times and refer to him as Mr. Porkpie - is the burlesque mayor of New York City. This is a self-appointed position, and had I known that I would have claimed it. Therefore, I now declare myself to be the burlesque comptroller of New York City. Wait 'til you see my ledger bit. Classic. The book opens with a letter from Mr. Porkpie to Hard Case impresario Charles Ardai, explaining that everything that follows is true. That's right, Mr. Porkpie is the detective in his own novel. He's running a burlesque show when one of the performers, known and loathed for stealing other people's acts, is murdered onstage. The police view Mr. Porkpie as the prime suspect, and thus is he forced to hopscotch around two of the five boroughs interviewing women in various states of undress in order to clear his good stage name. Mr. Porkpie keeps the action rat-a-tatting along with hoary old jokes, comparing everything to either a G-string or an overstuffed corset. The plot is as thin as a dancer's veil, but that's not why you're reading this book. It's a lark, and a fun one, with Mr. Porkpie getting into and out of silly, sexy trouble. But not too sexy; Mr. Porkpie is happily married to burlesque performer Nasty Canasta - one of the cover models, FYI - and their relationship is the best thing in the book.

SEPTEMBER 7, 2009 5:11 PMBY ELIZABETH BENJAMIN President Obama's controversial advice to school kids: Wash your hands, ask questions, "make us all proud."...VP Joe Biden, Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner and Education Secretary Arne Duncan are all headed to Syracuse...Former Rep. Joe Kennedy will not run for the US Senate seat held by his late uncle, Ted Kennedy...Mayor Bloomberg and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton will welcome HRH Crown Prince Willem-Alexander of Orange and HRH Princess Máxima of the Netherlands to New York tomorrow to officially launch NY400 Week...Johnny Porkpie was sorry to see the Naked Cowboy bow out of the mayor's race...

By Roy Edroso in Featured, Mayoral Race 2009, Politics Monday, Sep. 7 2009 @ 7:47AM ​Annoyed by a $250 fine from the Conflicts of Interest Board for failing to file a required form, Times-Square fixture The Naked Cowboy has quit his quixotic run for Mayor of New York. Under threat of a year in prison and a $10,000 fine, the Cowboy late-filed his form Friday, listing his annual income as between $100,000 and $250,000 and his assets two Merrill Lynch accounts worth between $5,000 and $35,000, and announced his withdrawal. "Politics is not fun and games," he told the Times. "It's serious stuff, and my mind was a little more dreamy." The Cowboy, whose real name is Robert Burck and who lives in New Jersey, had not qualified for a spot on the official ballot. The only other candidate who responded to The Cowboy's withdrawal was burlesque figure Johnny Porkpie, who said, "I am sorry to see him go... I had some really good lines about him that I can't use any more." Along with Porkpie and the major party contenders, Green Party candidate Reverend Billy persists in the race, as do Libertarian Party candidate Joseph Dobrian, Rent is Too Damn High Party candidate Jimmy McMillan (warning: loud noise at link), Party for Socialism and Liberation candidate Frances Villar, and Socialist Workers Party candidate Dan Fein.

The Naked Cowboy may have to shore up his left flank. And his right flank, for that matter. There is another naked vaudevillian who has thrown his hat into the ring. Or, in this case, his shirt into the crowd, which Jonny Porkpie did when he announced his candidacy on stage at Public Assembly in Brooklyn. He says he was just giving the voters what they want. Porkpie, who already holds the seat of "Burlesque Mayor of NYC" and who has been known to dance to "The Humpty Dance" while dressed as a geisha, has already gone on the offensive. "It all comes down to trust," he says. "How can New Yorkers trust a man who calls himself 'Naked' while wearing boy panties for the whole world to see?" Porkpie is already trying to frame the debate: "Voters should ask themselves this," he says. "When looking at your mayor's chapeau, do you want it to be a symbol of the Wild West? Or do you want it to be the hat worn by 'Popeye' Doyle in the classic New York film 'The French Connection'--the hat about which Charles Mingus wrote a song when in New York City--that is to say, the Porkpie hat!" He has challenged the Naked Cowboy to a debate at Public Assembly on Sept. 14. No word yet on whether the Cowboy has accepted.

On Monday night Jonny Porkpie, organizer of monthly burlesque night "Jonny Porkpie's Bad Ideas" at Public Assembly in Williamsburg and self-described "Burlesque Mayor of New York," announced that he would be running for actual mayor in the upcoming mayoral election. Whether or not he presents an actual threat to the city's political establishment, this does represent a challenge to the winner of The L's "Best Stunt Mayoral Candidate" award, the Naked Cowboy. Clearly, some sort of nearly-to-entirely nude debate is in order. Maybe it'll happen on September 14, when Jonny Porkpie has invited all the mayoral candidates to a debate at Public Assembly. Until then, here's a video of your newest mayoral candidate dancing to Digital Underground's "Humpty Dance" at the Slipper Room: (video omitted). -Benjamin Sutton

Because the Naked Cowboy was in danger of winning the mayoral race, Jonny Porkpie, the self-proclaimed "Burlesque Mayor of New York City," has emerged as the Cowboy's main challenger. Porkpie's shtick is nothing new. In the speech on Monday in which he announced his candidacy, he used those tried-and-true puns often favored by nude performers who run for office. "I will lay [my] policies bare for all New Yorkers to see!" Porkpie proclaimed shortly after removing his shirt to please the howling crowd. We're reminded not only of the Naked Cowboy's slogan ("Because Nobody Has Done More With Less"), but of porn star Mary Carey's campaign for governor of California back in 2003. Carey's visionary platform included taxing breast implants, making lap dances tax deductible and creating a "porn for pistols" program. Her campaign slogans featured such gems as "Dying to Get in Bed with Special Interest Groups... And Film It!" and "I'll Provide 'Jobs for the Entire State." Porkpie should look to his predessors as he runs his striptease-themed campaign. Sure, the Naked Cowboy is a fake (he's not even naked!), but if Porkpie really wants to make political history, he'll have to set his sights higher. He'll have to attack Bloomberg. "I may not have millions of dollars to cram your mailbox full of paper spam like incumbent Michael Bloomberg," Porkpie told his fans. "But I do have one thing he doesn't have--an entire city full of sexy, talented friends who will take their clothes off in support of my campaign." That's a good start, Porkpie. Just throw in some Mary Carey-caliber puns, and you're good to go. -Will Alden